10 best kept secrets of nurses finally spilled
Society is blind to some truths, mainly because it is better to hide them than to share them to the outside world and risk being misunderstood. So we nurses keep some things a secret just to maintain the peace of everyone involved.
Being a nurse is a challenge in the sense that a person’s physical, emotional, and mental ability are being put to the test on a daily basis. It drains us in all those aspects – from lifting patients that weighed a hundred KG, to crying in the corner when a baby in the NICU passed away in our arms, to always be quick with our decisions on what to do next when the patient is vomiting copious amounts of blood.
10. We know how to have fun! But we seriously have a dark sense of humor.
Have you scared your colleague in the middle of the night by ringing the call bell of an empty room and then grabbing them by the ankles when they check in? Or have you made a squirt gun out of syringes? Or have you talked about poop while eating chocolate mousse during lunch break? And yes, we are very inappropriate with our jokes at times because they are too “green”. It will definitely cause my poor dead grandmother to turn in her grave.
- We gossip. And yes, about your personal life too. But don’t worry, we keep your secrets amongst ourselves, and we will never judge you. But, we are sorry though, we just can’t resist.
- We have a love-hate relationship with the profession.
Some days we feel like we are endowed with the ability to heal people. And then some days, we just want to throw in the towel and run screaming into the woods. Nurses are vulnerable to burnout and compassion fatigue. It takes a brave little heart to still show up for your next shift after so many unpleasant encounters in the job.
- We wish you to stop googling your symptoms.
It’s good to know that patients are educated with their symptoms. But if you think your snoring at night is directly caused by a tumor growing in your throat as what WebMD says, please stop, I beg you. There is a high possibility that you are overreacting.
- We hate charting.
No kidding. It is a very unproductive part of our shift. But we have this ridiculous mantra which goes: If it’s not documented, it didn’t happen.
We spend our days thinking we might get sued, so we make sure we cover ourselves first by writing how we cared for you. Whether we like it or not, it is a fact that half of our body is already in jail – which is why some people would blackmail or threaten to sue us in court. Basically, that is our kryptonite. Yikes.
- It is still a mind-boggling thing for us when everything that happens around the patient is always our fault.
There are times when nurses get berated for things that are not in our scope. For example, how could a delay in your X-ray result be our fault? When it’s the other department who were slacking with their job? We sometimes get yelled at by disrespectful family members or shockingly, our own senior nurses, and the humiliation hurts a lot. So we cry in the bathroom, dust it off, and pretend that we are still bright and shiny after that. After all, the show must go on, right?
- Like how we can see through your lies, we can also see through your drama.
There was a time when one of my colleagues in the ER has a patient who needed a tetanus shot. The patient was whining and being a drama queen, refusing to get his tetanus injection and not wanting to leave the hospital premises. Ironically, the patient’s body was riddled with countless tattoos! Can you imagine my friend‘s disbelief? After an hour of convincing, he finally consented. Then my colleague took a needle with a bore that’s larger than the usual gauge we use and gave the injection with a poker face. Vengeance is sweet as what she said, for that patient wasted her time as she tried to convince him to receive the medication
3. We are so used to anything crazy that almost nothing fazes us anymore.
You come into the ER with a knife stuck on your arm? Cool, no problem. Lie down for a second while I get you some chamomile tea, and we can chat about what happened while I patch you up.
2. We know if you are telling lies.
Sometimes, we sneak around your door without you knowing to see how you are doing. If you are laughing and texting and started moaning the minute, I come in, better, believe me, I am trying my hardest not to roll my eyes. It is a battle of wits me and you. And please, you have to stop this malingering thing, this hospital is not your vacation spot. And no, I won’t cut your food for you, I saw you texting just fine a while ago.
1. We are starving but we haven’t got the time to grab our lunch yet.
We want to pee but we don’t have the time to do that either. These are just two of the selfless acts that we do for you on a daily basis, just to ensure that we cater to your needs first. Working as a nurse is so hectic, we don’t take breaks as often. Because at the end of the day, your comfort and well-being matter to us the most.
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